I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
