it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
