some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
