it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize