He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
