I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
