two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize