oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
