he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
