I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
