I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
