i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Also, beer. Big fan.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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