I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
