You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My penis needs a shock collar
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
