Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Shame is for Republicans.
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