I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Still dying that you shit outside
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
