i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
