your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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