i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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