We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
