She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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