I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
