If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize