i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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