We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
