After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just pee around me
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
