He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
