I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
