My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
