Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
