You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Randomize
