i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
