Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize