I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
