im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
