pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
