so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
