Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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