two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Your cock deserves a montage
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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