Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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