clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
