Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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