paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
