I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
