OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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