Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
