just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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