If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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