3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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