He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
