I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you would pick up someone in the library
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
whose parrot is this?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
