After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
