She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
