I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
