Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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