I don't think brook has ever known best
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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