While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
