on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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