Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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