I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
did i just pee glitter
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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