Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
