Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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