I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
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