I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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