Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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