True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize