Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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